My mother died when I was five years old. I have very vivid memories of her even though I was very young. I think I have memories from (this may be hard to believe), even two or three years old. The reason I remember this period of my life so much, is because the loss of my mom had a great impact on the course my life would take.
What I remember most about my mom was that she taught me how to read and write. She also taught me to listen to, and have respect for my teachers and elders. She bought many books for me, and she would read to me and encourage me to read aloud to her. I also remember when she used to give me a pen or pencil and paper, and I remember just drawing circles on the paper. When I drew those circles and brought it to show her, she would praise me and show all her friends, and they all would tell me how bright or how smart I was. She would guide my hand to form words and to write letters to aunts, uncles, cousins and other family. She was so proud of my learning, that she told everyone about me, sent pictures of me to families and friends, always encouraging me and praising me for even small accomplishments.
I remember my mom as someone who was so full of optimism and energy. She loved to talk and laugh and I absorbed this positive radiance from her.
When my mom learnt that she had cancer, she still had a positive attitude, but she died approximately six months after learning of her illness. Everyone was shocked because she seemed to be taken away so sudden, and up until maybe her last month when her health deteriorated, she was still showing a positive attitude.
Before my mom died, her request was that I live with her friend who was the wife of a pastor. My mom’s family who was close to this pastor and his wife, allowed me to stay with them to grant my mom’s wish. When I went to live with this pastor and his wife, their house was filled with many books. Since my mom had instilled in me a passion for books, I read every book I could get my hands on.
Soon I was ahead of my peers in school. My academic ability enabled me to skip two grades in school. I was always helping students who were older than I was, with their schoolwork and soon, my teachers recommended me for various leadership positions and extracurricular activities at my school. Growing up, my teachers and elders always told me that since my mom had died , I had to make an extra effort to be a success, because children with no mothers sometimes do not succeed because they don’t have parental guidance at home.
With repeated encouragement and praise from my teachers, family and friends, I always strived to be successful in whatever I did. Even though my mom was dead, whatever I did, I always tried to excel and to do what would make my mom proud.
Growing up without a mother however, was not easy. At an early age, my father battled with my mom’s family to gain custody of me. This resulted in me moving from house to house ; some people treated me well, some told me I was dumb and stupid and wouldn’t amount to anything, some treated me like a slave. At school, some of my peers told me I would get pregnant before I would graduate. Inspite of all this, I always tried to do my best. I always thought that if my mom was alive , I would want her to feel proud. Even though I tried to be strong and optimistic, all the turmoil in my personal life, caused me to feel confused at times. I always wondered why people would be so mean, so unkind, and hurtful. Why would they tell me so much bitter things, when all I tried to do was to go to school and excel.
This caused me to start to do poorly in my schoolwork. Meanwhile, many of my friends were dropping out of school for various reasons. Some, because of getting pregnant, some got locked up in jail because of doing drugs. Others dropped out of school because of family problems. One friend said to me, “What is the purpose of going to school? School is not going to help you to get a real job!”. I felt very sorry for most of my friends who didn’t realise the value of education. They were deceived by the lies told to them by people in their community, their peers, the media which glorify rappers, DJs and athletes who make millions of dollars without an education. What the media does not talk about enough, is the many educated people who manage the careers of these celebrities, and even the many cases of dishonest management that steal the profits of these celebrities who are not educated to realize what is happening before they go bankrupt.
Even though she is not with me, the skills and qualities that she instilled in me from an early age has stayed with me. Whenever I am faced with an obstacle, my positive attitude that I learnt from my mom helped me to overcome. I also listened to the advice of the many teachers who believed in me, teachers who saw my potential and encouraged me to do well. When they saw my grades falling, they took time out of their busy schedule to help me and encourage me to work harder to bring my grades up. I know my mom would be very proud if she could see me now. She, teaching me to read and write at an early age, caused me to have a passion for books and wherever I go, I try to teach others to value books and education. My mom may have died when I was very small but before she left me, she taught me the skills to survive.
