Friday, December 12, 2008
My heart weeps...
I am reading "Confessions of a Video Vixen", by Karrine Steffans, and my heart weeps for this girl. Sometimes it is just difficult to read this book. I feel it is just sad that many young women are trapped in a situation because they dont have the strength of mind to know that they dont have to deal with abuse. They have the power, to rise from any situation. They have the power to become whatever they want to be. The only thing that's keeping them from having these things, is themselves. But they dont know this. No one ever told them. And unless they free their minds, unless they give themselves permission to leave this situation... they remain trapped. But what worries me the most is, how many other young girls are receiving abuse right now, who dont know that they have the power to stop this abuse... If I was in that situation, would i be able to find the strength to leave? Do you know anyone in this situation? (Yes I'm talking to you who is reading this blog) Have you ever told them that they deserve more to life. That they are strong enough to survive, and have the right to live a better life? Not a life filled with expensive clothes, jewelery and other material things... but a right to live a better quality of life, a life where she is free, free to be independent, free to have an education, free to have a job, free to have unconditional love, free to fulfill their dreams...
Friday, October 3, 2008
my mother
My mother died when I was five years old. I have very vivid memories of her even though I was very young. I think I have memories from (this may be hard to believe), even two or three years old. The reason I remember this period of my life so much, is because the loss of my mom had a great impact on the course my life would take.
What I remember most about my mom was that she taught me how to read and write. She also taught me to listen to, and have respect for my teachers and elders. She bought many books for me, and she would read to me and encourage me to read aloud to her. I also remember when she used to give me a pen or pencil and paper, and I remember just drawing circles on the paper. When I drew those circles and brought it to show her, she would praise me and show all her friends, and they all would tell me how bright or how smart I was. She would guide my hand to form words and to write letters to aunts, uncles, cousins and other family. She was so proud of my learning, that she told everyone about me, sent pictures of me to families and friends, always encouraging me and praising me for even small accomplishments.
I remember my mom as someone who was so full of optimism and energy. She loved to talk and laugh and I absorbed this positive radiance from her.
When my mom learnt that she had cancer, she still had a positive attitude, but she died approximately six months after learning of her illness. Everyone was shocked because she seemed to be taken away so sudden, and up until maybe her last month when her health deteriorated, she was still showing a positive attitude.
Before my mom died, her request was that I live with her friend who was the wife of a pastor. My mom’s family who was close to this pastor and his wife, allowed me to stay with them to grant my mom’s wish. When I went to live with this pastor and his wife, their house was filled with many books. Since my mom had instilled in me a passion for books, I read every book I could get my hands on.
Soon I was ahead of my peers in school. My academic ability enabled me to skip two grades in school. I was always helping students who were older than I was, with their schoolwork and soon, my teachers recommended me for various leadership positions and extracurricular activities at my school. Growing up, my teachers and elders always told me that since my mom had died , I had to make an extra effort to be a success, because children with no mothers sometimes do not succeed because they don’t have parental guidance at home.
With repeated encouragement and praise from my teachers, family and friends, I always strived to be successful in whatever I did. Even though my mom was dead, whatever I did, I always tried to excel and to do what would make my mom proud.
Growing up without a mother however, was not easy. At an early age, my father battled with my mom’s family to gain custody of me. This resulted in me moving from house to house ; some people treated me well, some told me I was dumb and stupid and wouldn’t amount to anything, some treated me like a slave. At school, some of my peers told me I would get pregnant before I would graduate. Inspite of all this, I always tried to do my best. I always thought that if my mom was alive , I would want her to feel proud. Even though I tried to be strong and optimistic, all the turmoil in my personal life, caused me to feel confused at times. I always wondered why people would be so mean, so unkind, and hurtful. Why would they tell me so much bitter things, when all I tried to do was to go to school and excel.
This caused me to start to do poorly in my schoolwork. Meanwhile, many of my friends were dropping out of school for various reasons. Some, because of getting pregnant, some got locked up in jail because of doing drugs. Others dropped out of school because of family problems. One friend said to me, “What is the purpose of going to school? School is not going to help you to get a real job!”. I felt very sorry for most of my friends who didn’t realise the value of education. They were deceived by the lies told to them by people in their community, their peers, the media which glorify rappers, DJs and athletes who make millions of dollars without an education. What the media does not talk about enough, is the many educated people who manage the careers of these celebrities, and even the many cases of dishonest management that steal the profits of these celebrities who are not educated to realize what is happening before they go bankrupt.
Even though she is not with me, the skills and qualities that she instilled in me from an early age has stayed with me. Whenever I am faced with an obstacle, my positive attitude that I learnt from my mom helped me to overcome. I also listened to the advice of the many teachers who believed in me, teachers who saw my potential and encouraged me to do well. When they saw my grades falling, they took time out of their busy schedule to help me and encourage me to work harder to bring my grades up. I know my mom would be very proud if she could see me now. She, teaching me to read and write at an early age, caused me to have a passion for books and wherever I go, I try to teach others to value books and education. My mom may have died when I was very small but before she left me, she taught me the skills to survive.
What I remember most about my mom was that she taught me how to read and write. She also taught me to listen to, and have respect for my teachers and elders. She bought many books for me, and she would read to me and encourage me to read aloud to her. I also remember when she used to give me a pen or pencil and paper, and I remember just drawing circles on the paper. When I drew those circles and brought it to show her, she would praise me and show all her friends, and they all would tell me how bright or how smart I was. She would guide my hand to form words and to write letters to aunts, uncles, cousins and other family. She was so proud of my learning, that she told everyone about me, sent pictures of me to families and friends, always encouraging me and praising me for even small accomplishments.
I remember my mom as someone who was so full of optimism and energy. She loved to talk and laugh and I absorbed this positive radiance from her.
When my mom learnt that she had cancer, she still had a positive attitude, but she died approximately six months after learning of her illness. Everyone was shocked because she seemed to be taken away so sudden, and up until maybe her last month when her health deteriorated, she was still showing a positive attitude.
Before my mom died, her request was that I live with her friend who was the wife of a pastor. My mom’s family who was close to this pastor and his wife, allowed me to stay with them to grant my mom’s wish. When I went to live with this pastor and his wife, their house was filled with many books. Since my mom had instilled in me a passion for books, I read every book I could get my hands on.
Soon I was ahead of my peers in school. My academic ability enabled me to skip two grades in school. I was always helping students who were older than I was, with their schoolwork and soon, my teachers recommended me for various leadership positions and extracurricular activities at my school. Growing up, my teachers and elders always told me that since my mom had died , I had to make an extra effort to be a success, because children with no mothers sometimes do not succeed because they don’t have parental guidance at home.
With repeated encouragement and praise from my teachers, family and friends, I always strived to be successful in whatever I did. Even though my mom was dead, whatever I did, I always tried to excel and to do what would make my mom proud.
Growing up without a mother however, was not easy. At an early age, my father battled with my mom’s family to gain custody of me. This resulted in me moving from house to house ; some people treated me well, some told me I was dumb and stupid and wouldn’t amount to anything, some treated me like a slave. At school, some of my peers told me I would get pregnant before I would graduate. Inspite of all this, I always tried to do my best. I always thought that if my mom was alive , I would want her to feel proud. Even though I tried to be strong and optimistic, all the turmoil in my personal life, caused me to feel confused at times. I always wondered why people would be so mean, so unkind, and hurtful. Why would they tell me so much bitter things, when all I tried to do was to go to school and excel.
This caused me to start to do poorly in my schoolwork. Meanwhile, many of my friends were dropping out of school for various reasons. Some, because of getting pregnant, some got locked up in jail because of doing drugs. Others dropped out of school because of family problems. One friend said to me, “What is the purpose of going to school? School is not going to help you to get a real job!”. I felt very sorry for most of my friends who didn’t realise the value of education. They were deceived by the lies told to them by people in their community, their peers, the media which glorify rappers, DJs and athletes who make millions of dollars without an education. What the media does not talk about enough, is the many educated people who manage the careers of these celebrities, and even the many cases of dishonest management that steal the profits of these celebrities who are not educated to realize what is happening before they go bankrupt.
Even though she is not with me, the skills and qualities that she instilled in me from an early age has stayed with me. Whenever I am faced with an obstacle, my positive attitude that I learnt from my mom helped me to overcome. I also listened to the advice of the many teachers who believed in me, teachers who saw my potential and encouraged me to do well. When they saw my grades falling, they took time out of their busy schedule to help me and encourage me to work harder to bring my grades up. I know my mom would be very proud if she could see me now. She, teaching me to read and write at an early age, caused me to have a passion for books and wherever I go, I try to teach others to value books and education. My mom may have died when I was very small but before she left me, she taught me the skills to survive.
Dare to Dream
Most people don’t know that they can use their access to many opportunities around them to make their dreams of becoming successful, a reality. The people who make it to the top, do so, because they have moved beyond just having access, to actually using the resources around them to achieve their success. There are many opportunities available to access our dreams. These include education, scholarships, volunteering, grants, community organisations, sports, to name a few. In this essay, I will examine three of the main ways we can use opportunities to move beyond access, and empower our communities to use available resources to achieve success.
One of the most guaranteed ways of achieving success is getting an education. Education can take children from just access to opportunities, to actually using these opportunities to fulfill their dreams. Educated children will choose education, instead of choosing the road seemingly paved by “bling”, to become successful. According to Levitt and Dubner, the media misleads the public into thinking that everyone involved in drugs is very successful,
“The media eagerly glommed on to this story, portraying crack dealing as one of the most profitable jobs in America. But if you were to have spent a little time around the housing projects… not only did most of the crack dealers still live in the projects, but most of them still lived at home with their moms.”
Here, Levitt and Dubner show how many people have been deceived by the media. People who are educated however, will look beyond the “bling” to see the truth and will be able to make the right decisions.
Another way to produce successful citizens is to empower our children. Children who have supportive, influential people in their communities, who expose them to better opportunities, will learn how to move beyond just having access to opportunity, to daring to take the steps necessary to claim the success as their own. Glover Blackwell stated that because of the supportive people around her she was shielded from the negative influences in her environment,
“Yet as a child, I was surrounded by a web of caring adults who were determined to raise bold, proud, intellectually curious children, shielded from the sting of discrimination” .
Therefore as Glover Blackwell points out, by daring to support our children, and instilling in them positive attitudes, we will be able to groom successful citizens regardless of the environment that they grew up in.
Another way to achieve success is by teaching our people to learn from adversities and move on. An anonymous author quoted by Vanzant said,
“I am thankful for the adversities which have crossed my path and taught me tolerance, perseverance, self control and some other virtues I might never have known”.
Vanzant uses this quote to remind us to use our experiences to guide us into using the resources around us to achieve success. We should dare to keep our dreams alive, learn from our mistakes and confidently choose a new path to success.
In conclusion, we can strive to educate our communities so each person can be self-empowered to make the right decisions. We can pave the way for the future by providing a supportive environment for all our children. Finally, we can learn from our mistakes, our past, and use that knowledge to build a better future. By doing all of this, we can dare to confidently move beyond just having access, to making our dreams a success.
Works Cited
Annonymous Quote. “June 8”. Acts of Faith, Daily Meditations For People Of Color. Iyanla Vanzant. New York: Fireside, 1993.
Glover Blackwell, Angela. “Ensuring Broad Access To Affordable Neighborhoods That Connect To Opportunity.” The Covenant. Tavis Smiley. Chicago: Third World Press, 2006. 99.
Levitt, Stephen D. and Dubner, Stephen J. “Why Do Drug Dealers Still Live With Their Moms?”. Freakonomics. New York: HarperCollins Publishers Inc., 2005. 93.
One of the most guaranteed ways of achieving success is getting an education. Education can take children from just access to opportunities, to actually using these opportunities to fulfill their dreams. Educated children will choose education, instead of choosing the road seemingly paved by “bling”, to become successful. According to Levitt and Dubner, the media misleads the public into thinking that everyone involved in drugs is very successful,
“The media eagerly glommed on to this story, portraying crack dealing as one of the most profitable jobs in America. But if you were to have spent a little time around the housing projects… not only did most of the crack dealers still live in the projects, but most of them still lived at home with their moms.”
Here, Levitt and Dubner show how many people have been deceived by the media. People who are educated however, will look beyond the “bling” to see the truth and will be able to make the right decisions.
Another way to produce successful citizens is to empower our children. Children who have supportive, influential people in their communities, who expose them to better opportunities, will learn how to move beyond just having access to opportunity, to daring to take the steps necessary to claim the success as their own. Glover Blackwell stated that because of the supportive people around her she was shielded from the negative influences in her environment,
“Yet as a child, I was surrounded by a web of caring adults who were determined to raise bold, proud, intellectually curious children, shielded from the sting of discrimination” .
Therefore as Glover Blackwell points out, by daring to support our children, and instilling in them positive attitudes, we will be able to groom successful citizens regardless of the environment that they grew up in.
Another way to achieve success is by teaching our people to learn from adversities and move on. An anonymous author quoted by Vanzant said,
“I am thankful for the adversities which have crossed my path and taught me tolerance, perseverance, self control and some other virtues I might never have known”.
Vanzant uses this quote to remind us to use our experiences to guide us into using the resources around us to achieve success. We should dare to keep our dreams alive, learn from our mistakes and confidently choose a new path to success.
In conclusion, we can strive to educate our communities so each person can be self-empowered to make the right decisions. We can pave the way for the future by providing a supportive environment for all our children. Finally, we can learn from our mistakes, our past, and use that knowledge to build a better future. By doing all of this, we can dare to confidently move beyond just having access, to making our dreams a success.
Works Cited
Annonymous Quote. “June 8”. Acts of Faith, Daily Meditations For People Of Color. Iyanla Vanzant. New York: Fireside, 1993.
Glover Blackwell, Angela. “Ensuring Broad Access To Affordable Neighborhoods That Connect To Opportunity.” The Covenant. Tavis Smiley. Chicago: Third World Press, 2006. 99.
Levitt, Stephen D. and Dubner, Stephen J. “Why Do Drug Dealers Still Live With Their Moms?”. Freakonomics. New York: HarperCollins Publishers Inc., 2005. 93.
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